Always Waiting....

Always Waiting.........


Ten years gone, by the wayside
I walked into the season, eyes opened wide,
I sat waiting for what, where, why- by the side

Of the road for what was to come
What was to be done,
With each rising and setting sun
Waiting on mankind’s kingdom come

And what logic was wasted on the prospect
That last look at the side glance
Of my last stance
My last dance
To linger in
my last trance
My last moment for romance
Ten long years waiting
For who
For what
For where
Just to question myself in the long run
WHY????????????????

In the Shadows of My RA

For those of us with painful hands, a simple handshake can be a terrifying experience, one that has the potential to bring us great pain.


I learned a trick that helped me a lot. In a normal handshake you present your hand out to the person you are meeting. For myself, I put my hand out with the palm facing the ground, allowing the person about to shake my hand an opportunity to see the top of my hand, and on bad days, the inflammation in the joints. It always causes the person shaking my hand to look and think before taking my hand because this is an unusual way to offer my hand.


Since using this method of handshake, I have never had anyone give me a firm handshake that would potentially bring tears to my eyes.

GETTING OTHERS TO UNDERSTAND


Since we are on the topic of dealing with others, another big issue is how other people react to someone with Rheumatoid Arthritis. There is a lack of understanding from people who don’t suffer this disease because you just don’t look any different than before you suffered or were diagnosed with RA.


The best article I have read on this can be found is called The Spoon Theory This article describes better than I ever could how difficult it is living each day with Rheumatoid Arthritis and how our day is filled with decisions on how to conserve energy to last through the day. The article was actually written about Lupus, but it relates very well. I recommend you share this story with people who care about you to enable these people to better understand the challenges you face each day.

We have to learn to be tolerant of others, understanding that, until you suffer this challenging disease, it is impossible to understand just how difficult it can be living with chronic pain, exhaustion and fear.

When we learn tolerance, then we will not be affected by the judgments of others, remembering those judgments come from ignorance. i AM VIESTA I AM OUT

Christmas Reflections

Christmas Reflections:

It is a fact of human life that, from time to time, we grow distant from those who we love. There are several reasons for this. Things happen in our life that take us to different places, and we cannot cover so much ground. Many of us have a number of friends and acquaintances and cannot be in contact with all of them at the same time. Christmas can be useful in repairing some of the damage that this does, and this is a major reason why it is seen as being a time of togetherness.
Whatever we may think at a given time, no friendship or relationship needs to be considered completely broken if one or both parts of it feel that there is a chance of reconnection. There may be a lot of hurt there, but Christmas allows a focus on things that we thought were lost. It is a time when many people feel that there is a chance for forgiveness, for apologies and acceptance. Whatever we feel may have been lost, we can focus on bringing back the good times.
Of course, Christmas is only here for a month, or a few weeks, and then we have to refocus on the world without Christmas in it. This is when the true test of what has been rebuilt comes, and if we are not truly committed to making it happen then it can still fall away again. But if you feel that you would like to reconnect with someone you had lost contact with, Christmas is the time to make it happen.

Just sharing

Sometimes the world just keeps gyrating, the day continues on as any other day, people come, people go, children can’t wait to grow up so grownups can’t tell them what to do, while grownups wish they were children again so they would have less responsibilities.

And with this, some of us find that we have time our on hands, time to think of days ahead or days left behind, maybe we are just thinking of a loved one we miss or a family member we are no longer in touch with, we don’t always realize or understand why we do not have that person in our life, but it never wavers, the constant knowing that person is out there in the world and we cannot touch them, or talk to them or even know what they are up to; makes us sad or mourn the loss of whatever it is we once had with that person, relative, or just a friend.

I was chatting with my sister on the phone the other night; she called to tell me she was missing one of our family members that she has lost contact with, her voice sounded sad, hurt by whatever foolishness has kept it where they are not in contact with each other. Family can tug on your heartstrings in the middle of the night, slowly as November is closing in, winter’s cold air becoming brisk and with it memories can be stirred like the embers on a fire log burning within the a fireplace, it just needs a little nudge to keep the cinders burning. After I spoke to my sister, I started thinking about days goneby , my youth, a war that took place so long ago called Vietnam. I recalled a bracelet I had worn for year, it was a MIA bracelet, a 19 year old boy named Stephen, I always wondered what happen to him, was he killed in action or did he just put down his gun one day and wander off into the jungles of Nam, never to be seen again, never to contact his family, his family never knowing what happen to him, always holding out hope in the back of their mind that Stephen could walk through the door and his family would quietly pick up from where they left off.......... You see, I got all of this just from having a conversation with my sister, who is missing a family member who is not talking to her and I thought to myself, whoa, Family members decide one day they don’t want anything to do with us, no particular reason, they have just put us aside as if we were never a part of their being and move on with their life, to me, that makes that family member a real M.I.A.- missing in action, only not the action of a war, or the missing of a loved one that you have no idea where they are or what could have happened to them, but a family member who is within miles of your home, a family member who could pick of a phone and just start a conversation and move on from there. But that would be too difficult for some, cause it means they would have to change their routine, or it might inconvenient their day to day lifestyle to take the time to say “Hi, I just wanted you to know I am thinking about you and hope you are doing okay”, No, these family members would rather live the existence of a M.I.A. leaving you wondering in the middle of the night why they don’t want to be a part of your life, to share family time or even a quiet whisper of conversation late into the night to say, hey........... thinking about you!

Family

What is the meaning of family today in 2009?

In the year 2009, the family structure has changed; the dynamics have changed as well. The family today is not the Leave it To Beaver setting it was some fifty years ago. Some of us thought when we had a family; we hoped for the most part that it would be a Rockwell Setting, treasured by everyone who saw us as a family. But mostly what we see is life unfolding, quietly, gracefully, one moment at a time.


I am discouraged by the stories I have heard in 2009 that reflect our unwillingness to extend to our men, the same emotional support we so desperately want filled by “our man.” Our men need us as they transition from provider to “househusband” until they can figure out what’s next. For some househusband may become a permanent answer while their wife earns the higher salary. Despite what you may or may not think of men (and girl I understand) they generally do have their family’s best interests at heart. They want us to have the house in a great neighborhood, good schools, support your passion, vacations, and pretty things whatever it is in the lifestyle you and your children want.

In previous blogs I have decisively stated my full support of real housewives and the importance of their hard work at home and raising their children. That being said, for some women, there is no broadmindedness for their husband’s emotional breakdown in watching their business, long-career or job in a specific area (which often does not translate easily to another field of work) fail. Men from mid to early 40’s through 65 are suddenly faced with completely starting over, in the real estate market, car business, factory assembly, corporate careers, textile…the list is long and may not be pretty.
However, in the first six months of unemployment we see them struggle and feeling overwhelmed by the job market in their own fields. Some take any job, while looking for another. By the second six months we are dissatisfied, appalled by their being at home and need for them to start doing the chores that you no longer have the time to complete. I whole hardly agree whoever is home takes care of the home.
Unhappily they are fraught with depression and concerned as the job market is bleak and funds have all about run out. They are not proud of sitting on the couch overwhelmed and feeling defunct, they do not know the symptoms of depression. We begin to believe they have become lazy, taking advantage of the situation as a temporary vacation while we scramble to keep it all going
The man you thought you married is still there but he needs a chance to recover. His inner life, his self-image as he knows it has been crushed. You don’t have to understand the way a man thinks to support him as one human being to another. He needs to know you still value and appreciate him. He needs your acknowledgement that he has been a “good” man and you will be there to catch him when he falls.
During these unsympathetic financial times we all need to pull together during the hard times. It is easy to be happy when all is well. Now is the time to remember why you are together and what is the most important things in your lives are.
Children yearn for time with parents. It makes them feel special. Parents are encouraged to find time to spend playing with their kids on a regular basis. This should include one to one with each child and group time with all of the adults and kids in the home. If you are a single parent or have an only child, occasionally invite family or friends over to play.
Playing with kids builds a bond that will last forever. It lets the child know he or she is loved and pleasing. It opens the door for sharing problems and concerns when the need arises. It helps the parent get to know and under the uniqueness of each child. This also improves parent-child communication and reduces behaviour problems. It is also great stress reducer for overworked parents.

Child Psychology information to help build parenting skills that help to provide structure and encouragement for children of all ages from toddlers to teens. These positive parenting tips build self-esteem, self-discipline and create kids that are winners. Parents learn useful techniques to improve specific behavior problems.

Whatever your style of parenting is, remembering a family is a team of people working together, to get into the same direction that performs as a family with love, thoughtful and compassion for once another, family means work, a work that has outstanding results when we work together as one unit with love, as a family, always in the name of love.

I am Viesta, I am out~